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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921520">pieces</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowjunhwi/pseuds/meowjunhwi'>meowjunhwi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Chae Hyungwon-centric, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, JunHao - Freeform, Kinda..., M/M, Mild Smut, Slow Burn, Wonhui - Freeform, and also jihan, bc i need to put them there somehow, but its hyungwon and junhui hah, hyungwon is a fashion design major in this bc i said so, minhyuk is just a sunshine istg, overuse of galaxy imagery lololol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:07:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921520</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowjunhwi/pseuds/meowjunhwi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyungwon is a piece of every person he loved and loves, and the biggest just happens to be from Lee Minhyuk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chae Hyungwon &amp; Everyone, Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk, Chae Hyungwon/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Chae Hyungwon/Yoo Kihyun, Chae Hyungwon/Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Yoo Kihyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>pieces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! SO! I'm finally back and this time with a Monsta X work! </p><p>I have lots of MX-related fics (whispers mostly hyunghyuk ofc) in my drafts and this is the latest I came up with and the first one I finished LMAO. Hyunghyuk is just so AAAAA and i'm such a sucker for the best friends to lovers kind of trope so hehe. Anyway! I'm just kinda new to the fandom, like 3 months I think, and I'm just whipped for them at this point they're all so precious cries. </p><p>I proofread this like once while I was working so apologies for the mistakes that you might encounter. I kinda wished I was able to like, say more but for now, I think this will have to do and I was able to write it in a way that I'm satisfied with. I hope you enjoy this fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyungwon would like to believe that, while he is entirely his own person, there are factors that made who he is today— certain habits and influences that he had garnered from the people that he encountered and shared a certain amount of closeness and intimacy with. He likes to think that his whole being constitutes little parts of what he had learned from friends, family and even past lovers and estranged acquaintances.</p><p>It’s kind of like picking up a trait of a certain anime character that he likes, blending into his life and routine until it seamlessly becomes a part of him as well.</p><p>Maybe there is a psychological explanation as to why that happens. Maybe there isn’t and it is in fact a part of human nature. And he thinks it romantic, to carry a part of another person in himself— a reminder that they were once in his life and they had an impact that would last maybe a lifetime at best.</p><p>Of course, they weren’t always good. There are memories he would just like to bury in the deepest recesses of his mind, never to think about it, never have it resurface once again, but he had learned from the bad, tries not to regret the choices he made because it had already been done and the best he can do at present is to make sure he improved himself and be the best that he could be. It wasn’t always easy, but he copes. And he learns not to put too much pressure on himself and beat himself up for not being okay. The bad days come but it doesn’t mean that there aren’t the better days— and that’s what he looks forward to the most. The rainbow appears after the storm, after all, and with it a pot of gold that sparkles brightly underneath the sunlight.</p><p>There are many pieces of Hyungwon, some miniscule, maybe not even bigger than a mere dot, but it is there nonetheless, and the bigger ones are shaped by the people that he had learned to keep close to his heart for the past years.</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">We make these memories for ourselves.</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>There is a cherry blossom tree at the back of his high school which Hyungwon claimed as his favorite spot to stay at during their vacant periods.</p><p>Sometimes, Minhyuk stays with him, that is if he could actually remain in one place, and talk his ear off while Hyungwon listens with his eyes closed and back leaning against the trunk of the tree, the grass tickling his skin through the material of his pants and the air cool as it slightly ruffles his hair.</p><p>When Minhyuk feels the need to expend the energy that he stores inside his small yet growing body (Hyungwon can’t comprehend the scientific explanation behind Lee Minhyuk and the apparent boundless and unlimited energy he has), he plays in the gym with some of the students in their school, sweats it out and will later go back to Hyungwon so he could pull the sleeping boy out of dreamland and go back to class.</p><p>During one of those days when Minhyuk isn’t with him underneath the cherry blossom tree, Hyungwon meets Yoo Kihyun through the lenses of his polaroid camera, the soft whirring noise of a developing film pulling Hyungwon back to the world of consciousness.</p><p>“Oh shit,” the boy muttered under his breath when he realized his little contraption can’t be muted and Hyungwon was in a state of shallow sleep that the slightest sound was able to rouse him. He looks at the boy, whose name at that time was still unknown to him, and Hyungwon tilts his head to the side, asks him, “What are you doing?”</p><p>The boy looks bashful at being caught, putting his hand on his nape as he let out a shaky smile, “Ah, I was trying to take test shots using my polaroid camera. I was supposed to only take a picture of the cherry blossom, but you looked peaceful under it so I decided to include you in the frame. And promise! I’m not a stalker or anything!”</p><p>He even held his palm up, making Hyungwon snort in amusement. He just shrugs, shuffles so his body could lean more comfortably against the tree, “Do what you want.”</p><p>The boy blinks at his nonchalant response, “You’re not… mad?”</p><p>“No,” Hyungwon answers simply. He is after all, used to getting his pictures taken after he was scouted to be a model for small clothing brands, taking the opportunity because Minhyuk encouraged him to and his parents don’t see anything wrong with it as long as he doesn’t ignore his studies. “Just make sure I look good in the photos.”</p><p>He hears the boy huff before he walks closer to Hyungwon and carefully plops down on the space beside him, not too close yet not too far either. Hyungwon lets him, watches him closely and curiously.</p><p>“I’m Yoo Kihyun,” he holds his hand out. “Class 2-5.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re Minhyuk’s classmate,” Hyungwon muses as he reaches for the hand and shakes it slightly. “I’m Chae Hyungwon, class 2-4.”</p><p>“Ah, the infamous best friend,” Kihyun nods thoughtfully. “Minhyuk talks about you a lot, makes sure everyone in the classroom knows that you two are best friends.”</p><p>Hyungwon hums, not exactly shocked that even the students in Minhyuk’s class know him by association. He thinks that maybe even the kids from the other levels, or anyone within the radar of Minhyuk and his unbelievably loud voice (which is by no means small), will probably know that he is Hyungwon’s best friend because he takes pride in it.</p><p>When Minhyuk appears a few moments later and sees Kihyun sitting beside Hyungwon, he gets so excited that he bounced over to them and started talking a mile per hour, making Kihyun cover his mouth so he could slow down while Hyungwon just laughs, already used to it by now and merely content to listen to what Minhyuk has to say.</p><p>And he has a lot, always. This time, it goes from how he had been wanting to introduce Kihyun and Hyungwon to each for a while, to asking if they could hold study groups together, to telling them about the two juniors he played with— Jooheon and Changkyun, they were called— and to asking Kihyun if he could take a photo of him and Hyungwon using his polaroid, that sat forgotten on his lap in favor of trying to catch Minhyuk and the rapid slew of words coming out from his mouth.</p><p>Kihyun nods and without wasting time, Minhyuk crouches behind Hyungwon, places his arms around his neck as he hugs him from behind, face pressed next to his, cheek to cheek.</p><p>And then it was Minhyuk and Kihyun, then the three of them, with Hyungwon holding the camera with the lense facing them because he has the longest arm and therefore, the best candidate to take a selfie of three people.</p><p>Kihyun rolls his eyes, tells Minhyuk why can’t they just take a selfie using the front camera of their phones just like normal people and Minhyuk shakes his head, responds with, “Where’s the fun in doing what people usually do?” Kihyun huffs but he moves closer nonetheless, smiles for the camera.</p><p>The last is a picture of Kihyun and Hyungwon, which Minhyuk took because of course there has to be one of them too, and Kihyun awkwardly shuffles closer next to Hyungwon, and the whole thing frankly feels stiff and he feels like his smile is more of a grimace with how shaky his cheeks are. But when Minhyuk hands him the film and the image slowly got clearer, he smiles to himself, admires how Kihyun looks adorably small next to his tall frame, and he tells him just that, coos at him and was rewarded with a flush on Kihyun’s cheek— pinkish just like the blossoms of the tree they were sitting underneath of.</p><p>Hyungwon gets to keep the picture and it stays with him until classes are dismissed and he goes home, sets the picture on top of his desk and beside the photo of him and Minhyuk during their first day as high school students.</p><p>It stays when Kihyun and Minhyuk come over to study, which usually ends up with the three of them playing Mario Kart instead of actually doing and finishing their homeworks.</p><p>It stays when Hyungwon starts to grow a crush on Yoo Kihyun, who comes over to visit him when he is sick and hands him a copy of the lessons that he missed during the day; who asks him if he could be his muse while he practiced using his camera, to which Hyungwon just shrugs but there is the undeniable satisfaction in his chest, growing and growing whenever Kihyun tells him with a proud grin that the pictures are turning out well; who sings while they rewrite their notes, when it was just the two of them studying in Hyungwon’s room, and it is Kihyun’s sweet angelic voice that fills up the whole space.</p><p>(The sound makes Hyungwon want to just close his eyes and let the rest of the world melt away as he stays in this peaceful bubble he shares with Kihyun— just the two of them sitting in front of each other, the orange hues of the sunset streaming in through the glass windows of Hyungwon’s bedroom.)</p><p>It stays when Kihyun bursted through his door during the first week of the summer before their senior year, wordlessly burying himself under the covers of Hyungwon's bed. Hyungwon blinks, then he pulls the blanket just enough so he could see Kihyun’s face flushed red with the heat and—</p><p>And maybe something else, because he is acting way out of character. Looking a bit bashful as he holds his phone with an iron grip.</p><p>“What’s up?” Hyungwon coaxes him and Kihyun sits up, leans against the headboard hugging a pillow close to his chest. Then he says something unintelligible that Hyungwon had to move closer and ask him to repeat just so he could understand.</p><p>In the softest voice, Kihyun says, “Hoseok had asked me out on a date.”</p><p>Hyungwon feels it in his chest simultaneously— the happiness, because after pining for a while (Hyungwon knows enough about how much  Kihyun likes Hoseok because he never stops talking about him, about the way he holds the galaxies in his eyes when he smiles), Kihyun finally gets the chance of a lifetime to date the guy he had been fawning over since they were first years; and there was also the tinge of pain, undulating like the waves of the ocean that he chooses to ignore in favor of helping Kihyun calm down like a good friend.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>Kihyun fiddles with his fingers, admits, “I haven’t said anything yet because I freaked out the moment I read the message.”</p><p>“Well, if you do want to go on that date then you should answer him quickly or otherwise he might think that he really freaked you out.” Hyungwon then raises an eyebrow, “Unless I’m reading this all wrong and you actually don’t have a crush on him anymore.”</p><p>“No, I still do,” Kihyun answers immediately. “I’m just really nervous. It’s going to be my first date ever, after all.”</p><p>Hyungwon nods in understanding, tells him to take his time but to make sure he tells Hoseok what his decision is as soon as he could because God forbid him to miss this chance that might not come again in the future.</p><p>The picture stays with Hyungwon as he sits in his bed— alone and the book he was reading long forgotten, closed as it lay on top of his lap and his eyes staring blankly at the back of his door moments after Kihyun left and the ache overpowers the happiness now that he is gone.</p><p>Kihyun goes on a date with Hoseok and it goes well, he tells Minhyuk and Hyungwon, and then they go again and again and again, and Hyungwon learns to bury the hopeless romantic feelings in pints of ice cream and packs of gummy bears and chocolates that Minhyuk always brings along with him when he comes over.</p><p>There was no regret nor was there a missed chance really. It wasn’t for the lack of trying that Hyungwon didn’t get the chance to admit his feelings to Kihyun. It was simply him deciding that he would keep Kihyun by his side for as long as he could, and if that meant being his friend and nothing more, then Hyungwon will whole-heartedly accept that.</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">From Zero.</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>The first thing that Hyungwon thought when he finally and officially met Lee Hoseok was, “There is no way I can hate this guy.” It was nearly impossible, and it might’ve been easier to hate the guy who is almost-dating the guy that Hyungwon likes, but he can’t, not when Hoseok is shaking his hand gently but firmly, and smiling so wide with most of his teeth showing, looking so happy to meet the friends that Kihyun had been talking about for like forever.</p><p>“He talks about you a lot too,” Minhyuk informs Hoseok, a mischievous look thrown towards Kihyun who blushes and hides his face in Hoseok’s shoulder, not stopping Minhyuk because he knows it will be a futile effort in the end. “I don’t think he ever shuts up.”</p><p>“I hope you do,” Kihyun grumbles, but all he got was loud laughter from the perpetrator himself and a pinch on the cheeks from Hoseok.</p><p>Admittedly, it was kind of cute, seeing the two of them together and watching just how well they complement and understand each other, without the need for words to be said out loud.</p><p>(It is kind of like him and Minhyuk, who had been tied at the hip ever since they were kids, growing up next to each other’s houses, playing in the same park and going to the same school. Maybe if Hoseok went to the same high school as they did, he and Kihyun would’ve been a package deal, too. But Hyungwon thinks, the distance doesn’t even do much to make them estranged from one another. Instead, there must only be growing fondness—in the way Hoseok pays attention to Kihyun while he talks, the unmistakable adoration swimming in his brown eyes.)</p><p>Hoseok catches him staring, making Hyungwon jump slightly in his seat, suddenly being met with Hoseok’s bright eyes and bright smile. Not knowing what to do, he tunes in to Minhyuk and his story about Jooheon this time (he really does jump from one topic to another just as fast as the days pass and the seasons change), and pretends he didn’t notice the friendly smile that Hoseok threw his way.</p><p>It’s hard to dislike Hoseok for something as simple as loving Kihyun and Hyungwon kind of feels guilty, thinks that maybe he doesn’t actually dislike him but his awkwardness always gets the better of him (not that it justifies his behavior) and he spends most of the time ignoring Hoseok or giving him clipped answers whenever they hang out together. Hoseok takes it in stride, never falters when he smiles and it only serves to fuel the guilt that Hyungwon had been feeling.</p><p>Minhyuk calls him out on his behavior, because he is Minhyuk, Chae Hyungwon’s best friend and therefore the one who tells him off when he is already acting like an asshole. And he is, Hyungwon personally knows it too, feels bad that he couldn’t act normal around Hoseok—kind, wonderful and angelic Hoseok who does nothing but shower Kihyun with sincere praises, love and adoration. Who goes along with Minhyuk and Jooheon’s every whim, who makes sure that Changkyun finishes his homework, and who makes sure that Hyungwon gets to feel included whenever they all gather together.</p><p>Faced with the unbearable weight of his guilt coupled with the disappointed expression on Minhyuk’s face, Hyungwon sighs in defeat, resolves himself that the next time he sees Hoseok, he will apologize for his shitty attitude when he never even did anything wrong to Hyungwon or any of their friends.</p><p>So, when they hung out in the house of their new friend who is Hoseok’s classmate in his own high school, a kid named Son Hyunwoo, Minhyuk pushes him in the direction of the kitchen where Hoseok had been preparing snacks for everyone, whilst he pulls Kihyun and Jooheon along to the living room so they could start setting up the video games.</p><p>Hyungwon feels nervous, pockets his hands as he walks to stand beside Hoseok by the kitchen counter, asking in a voice as soft as a whisper, “Do you need help with anything, hyung?”</p><p>Thankfully, Hoseok heard him, turned to look at him with a surprised expression as if he expected anyone to help but Hyungwon. But it soon turns into something more delighted, with the way his eyes sparkled in that familiar way that Hyungwon always sees on Minhyuk, and he nods, tells Hyungwon if he could bring out some glasses along with the pitcher of orange juice in the refrigerator.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he pushes out of his mouth before he could chicken out and stew in his self-disappointment for not fixing something he could actually fix. Hoseok looks at him once again, blinking his eyes as he lets out a questioning hum.</p><p>“I’ve been an asshole towards you ever since we met,” Hyungwon admits, fiddling nervously with the hem of his clothes. “I’m really sorry about it.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Hoseok tells him, making Hyungwon snap his head upwards so he could face him, and was met with Hoseok’s usual smile that never dims with its brightness. It was fond and understanding, it made Hyungwon’s heart ache in his chest, made him want to shed tears at the pureness and sincerity of it. “I mean, I was hurt at first, but I thought, people take time to warm up to others, so I decided not to push you too hard about it.”</p><p>“You didn’t,” Hyungwon reassures him, the side of his lips quirking up in a slight smile. “It was mainly me being an asshole. And I do feel bad about it. I hope you forgive me.”</p><p>In response, Hoseok reaches up and ruffles Hyungwon’s hair with his large hands, a wordless gesture that tells Hyungwon they’re alright and they’re still friends, that Hoseok wouldn’t hold it against him.</p><p>Hyungwon takes the tray filled with the pitcher and the glasses, while Hoseok takes the bowls of popcorn and mixed candies, the two of them walking out to the living room where the rest of their friends were gathered and are currently in the middle of the first game of Mario Kart for the afternoon.</p><p>Minhyuk catches his eyes and he beams at him, tells him “I’m proud of you,” when Hyungwon sits on the empty space beside Minhyuk that had always been wordlessly reserved for him. He bumps their shoulders together, whispers, “thank you” and feels himself get pulled in Minhyuk’s quick embrace before the older reaches for the controller once again so he could challenge Kihyun in a race.</p><p>After the apologies and the promise Hyungwon internally made that he wouldn’t unnecessarily be an asshole towards his friends (except when the situation calls for it of course), he and Hoseok became closer than most of their friends expected. And it was easy and comfortable, existing beside Hoseok who is always eager to fill the space up with his random thoughts and wordless songs.</p><p>“I feel like Hoseok-hyung is coming for my spot as your best friend,” Minhyuk tells him out of the blue, eyes focused on the screen of his game console while Hyungwon is sitting beside him, reading a pocket book. Hyungwon snorts, thumbing the edge of his book as his eyes run over the page, finishing it before he could grace Minhyuk with the intelligible and heartfelt reassurance that he needs. But Minhyuk pauses his game and kneels on the bed so he could face Hyungwon with his puppy eyes and quivering lips, looking as if he is about to cry, and Hyungwon thinks he just might with how little his voice sounds, “I’m still your best friend, right?”</p><p>Hyungwon closes his book and turns his full attention to Minhyuk, gathers all the sincerity in his voice as he reassures him, “Yes, Minhyuk. You will always be my best friend.” And that serves to placate him, pout turning into a wide grin that Hyungwon had always loved to see on his face. He returns to his game and Hyungwon returns to his book, but he feels Minhyuk snuggle closer to him and he opens his arm so Minhyuk can slot himself beside him.</p><p>He relays this story to Hoseok, who listens attentively and hums in response, even as he is busy strumming the strings of the guitar on his lap and writing down chords to accompany the words hastily written on the notebook sitting beside him. It was just the two of them hanging out that day at Hyungwon’s house, deciding to wait on Minhyuk and Kihyun who had to stay behind in school because of some class-related stuff.</p><p>“Maybe he's just not that used to sharing you with other people,” Hoseok comments, not sparing a glance towards Hyungwon who is lazily lounging on the floor of his bedroom, eyes trained on his star-studded ceiling.</p><p>(Minhyuk likes them, and it is for that reason that Hyungwon had them placed there back when they were 10 years old and Minhyuk walks in his room one afternoon with an astronomy book in hand, showing Hyungwon pictures upon pictures of galaxies and constellations, and tells him that he wants to go to space one day.</p><p>He gets the stars placed on his ceiling the next day, surprises Minhyuk with it when he arrives for their routinely weekend sleepovers, and tells him, “This might have to do for now. I’ll save up for a rocket when we’re older so we can go to space together.”</p><p>Minhyuk jumps on him, tears staining his eyes but it shines when he smiles and the smile stays there until they move to sleep, cuddled together under the comforter on Hyungwon’s bed, hands clasped together and talking quietly in between them.)</p><p>Hyungwon frowns, “He is just as clingy to Jooheon and Changkyun and I haven’t had a problem with that.”</p><p>“Because you know that that’s just how Minhyuk is,” Hoseok puts the guitar down and pivots so he could be facing Hyungwon, nudging him on the thigh using his toes which earns him a half-hearted sweep of an arm. “But you are the type that doesn’t get close to people easily if they didn’t approach or talk to you first, so maybe Minhyuk is a little bit surprised, I guess, that there is someone else you are rather close to, aside from him and Kihyun.”</p><p>Hyungwon frowns thoughtfully, understanding but also kind of not. Hoseok makes it easy for him though, nudging his thigh once again with his toe to get his attention. “Minhyuk just needs reassurance from you that you will be his best friend, no matter what.”</p><p>And he does just that, when Minhyuk and Kihyun arrive and the older of the two zooms past Hoseok in favor plopping himself on top of Hyungwon who lets out a grunt at the sudden weight. But he places his arms around Minhyuk regardless, patting his back when he hears the exhausted sigh that leaves his best friend’s mouth.  Hyungwon thinks that maybe it will be a bit uncomfortable for Minhyuk to lie down like that, especially with his bag still on his back, but he shuffles closer, not looking like he will be standing anytime soon and Hyungwon finds he is kind of okay with that.</p><p>(He gently asks Minhyuk to remove his bag though, and he whines at having to move but he does it nonetheless.)</p><p>Kihyun walks in not too long after Minhyuk, in a much calmer pace but exhaustion is evident in the way he drags his feet across the floor and his eyelids seemingly drooping as he struggled to keep himself awake long enough to sit beside Hoseok and lean against him in a boneless heap.</p><p>Hyungwon sees them from the corner of his eyes—the way Hoseok naturally wraps an arm around Kihyun to pull him closer, fingers carding through the strands of newly-dyed caramel brown hair, faces huddled together as they spoke in soft voices that Hyungwon didn’t even bother to understand. He lets them be, focuses on Minhyuk in his arms, slowly drifting off to sleep, and he thinks about the lyrics that Hoseok had been writing earlier, the scrawls of words on pages that he showed to Hyungwon earlier and even played a bit to give him a gist of how the song is going.</p><p>It’s good, but Hoseok seems to think it is still lacking, so Hyungwon makes it a mission of his to help Hoseok out, suggesting how certain lines could be constructed in a way that it doesn’t lack thought and sincerity. When curiosity got the better of him, he asks, “Why ‘From Zero?’”</p><p>“It was because before I asked him out on a date and the whole courtship started, I actually confessed to him back when we were just halfway through our first year of high school,” Hoseok smiles bitterly. “He didn’t take it well and we only just started speaking on normal terms just before second year starts.”</p><p>Hoseok then recounts to him what happened with him and Kihyun before—the awkwardness when they started talking again and how it eventually faded, and even though Hoseok wished they could go back to how they were before, he knew they couldn’t. There was also the matter of his feelings that he tried to tamper down in fears of scaring Kihyun away once again, this time for good, but it stayed, only growing stronger as the days passed by. It is through Hyunwoo’s encouragement that Hoseok finally worked up the courage to try again and ask Kihyun out for real, and the time he spent waiting for his reply that day was enough to send him into a spiral of his worst fears once again. He was ready to take it back and apologize to Kihyun but the younger’s response pleasantly surprised him that he had to go over to Kihyun’s house just to ask if it was real.</p><p>And Kihyun’s smile, according to Hoseok, was gentle and fond yet it was blinding that Hoseok almost believes it is just a figment of his imagination, that Kihyun was just pulling his leg and he will wake up the next day to the news that his best friend will be leaving him behind because he fucked up and let his feelings get the best of him. But it was as real as it gets, with Kihyun’s hands holding his, and his eyes trained at Hoseok with a certain shine to them as if the heavens decided to rob the night sky of the stars and put them in Kihyun’s eyes.</p><p>Hearing Hoseok’s side of the story sounds both heart-wrenching and beautiful, and Hyungwon was glad that Kihyun finally said “yes.” That he was able to let go of what it was that was holding him back from being happy with Hoseok the first time the older confessed.</p><p>The universe works in wonders, Hyungwon thinks, and maybe Hoseok and Kihyun are really made for each other, maybe they aren’t, but there is now a Hoseok-sized piece in Kihyun’s life, and a Kihyun-size piece in Hoseok’s life that wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.</p><p>In some way, Hyungwon became officially a part of the songwriting process, which Hoseok says he will sing for Kihyun after they graduate, the same time he plans to ask him to be his official boyfriend. The idea is romantic and so Hoseok, it even serves to make Hyungwon swoon internally, but of course, he isn’t going to admit it. He settles for a simple hum, then “You’re such a sap,” which resulted in Hoseok hitting him lightly with the notebook they are writing on, pretending to be offended.</p><p>One day, Hyungwon was waiting for Hoseok to come back from the kitchen where he was getting snacks for the two of them to munch on while working on the song’s melody. Hoseok has this set-up in his bedroom, it is simple and not too much—maybe the beginner level kind of devices used to make music—and experimentally, Hyungwon tries to do some mixes by randomly playing tunes he listens to on a daily basis and adding up effects and anything else he thinks will sound good.</p><p>“Not bad,” Hoseok comments as he enters the room and closes the door with his foot, placing the tray of snacks and refreshments on his study table so as not to endanger his wired devices. He says it with sincerity, and Hyungwon knows that Hoseok can’t lie for the life of him so he knows he means it, but it still makes him shy, moving away from the keyboard and the computer to make way for Hoseok to sit on the wheeled chair. Instead of continuing where he left off with his song for Kihyun, he presses the spacebar to play the mix that Hyungwon made, bobbing his head along with the music while he waits for it to finish.</p><p>Unconsciously, Hyungwon looks to him for any more comments, which Hoseok was more than happy to offer as he gestures Hyungwon to sit closer and starts to teach him more complicated functions, gives him suggestions on how to put effects and which would sound better and the night ends with Hyungwon gaining a new fondness for music.</p><p>Their time together was then spent majority on finishing ‘From Zero’ and the remaining will be allotted to Hyungwon trying to improve his newfound skill on making mixes. When he successfully finishes one that he is more than satisfied with, Hoseok burns it into a cd for him to take home and serve as a remembrance of the first ever mix he made.</p><p>With excitement, he goes straight to Minhyuk’s house instead of his, wordlessly puts the CD in the player in Minhyuk’s room, the sound amplified by the speaker and bouncing off the walls as it starts to play. A few seconds in the song and Minhyuk stands up, jumping around the floor while dancing and he pulls Hyungwon with him, both vibing along to the song.</p><p>It is only when Minhyuk’s mother knocks on his door and tells him to turn his music down because it’s already late at night that they stopped and threw themselves in an exhausted heap on Minhyuk’s bed, chests heaving with the exertion of their physical activity but both lips stretched into wide grins.</p><p>“That’s amazing, Hyungwonnie,” Minhyuk praises and the sincerity of it makes Hyungwon’s heart burst with affection that he turns to him and buries his face on Minhyuk’s neck, feels a pair of lips kiss the top of his head. “I’m proud of you.”</p><p>After they graduated high school, Kihyun and Hoseok finally became official boyfriends, while Hyungwon gained a Hoseok-sized puzzle piece in his life in the shape of a CD, and he plays it every now and then, improves his skill when he gets the chance as that piece inside of him grows and grows just in the same way that his love for music does.</p><p>During college, Hyungwon lands himself a part time job in a club just outside the college district, where he works every Friday and Saturday nights. At first it was a simple bartending job, but then Bora hears about Hyungwon’s skill in making remixes (courtesy of Minhyuk and Hoseok who loves to talk about it when the opportunity arises) so she suggested trying out for the DJ role since their main one would be resigning in a month.</p><p>Hyungwon agrees to it, with a little bit of hesitance because he doesn’t feel too confident yet. But Hoseok assures him he will be, in due time, and that there is no need to feel too pressured as they all know Bora wouldn’t be putting him in a position that would make him sabotage himself.</p><p>On his first night on the podium, his fingers fumbled nervously a few times, but seeing Hoseok and Minhyuk in the crowd, nodding at him in encouragement and seemingly enjoying themselves, fueled Hyungwon’s confidence that he turns up the music and even spices up the original mix that he already prepared beforehand.</p><p>Hoseok throws him a thumbs up from where he was dancing next to Minhyuk on the dancefloor, making satisfaction well up in Hyungwon’s whole being.</p><p>“You’re gonna need a DJ name,” Minhyuk suggests later, when it was just the three of them sitting by the bar counter, waiting for Hyungwon to finish wiping off the glasses so they could leave. Hoseok nods in agreement, and Hyungwon leaves them to it, not really caring the slightest about having one or not.</p><p>When he emerges from the staff room a little later, wearing his university-issued hoodie and his small bag slung across his body, Minhyuk tells him excitedly, “DJ H.One! That will be your DJ name!”</p><p>He turns to Hoseok, who just shrugs, “It’s not bad. Catchy and easy to remember.”</p><p>“DJ H.One it is, then,” he agrees easily, making Minhyuk cheer as he slots his arms in each of Hyungwon’s and Hoseok’s, the three of them walking out of the club together.</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">Can You Sit By My Side?</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>During his second year as a university student, he met Wen Junhui.</p><p>The boy was a year younger than him and they met by association—when Hyungwon was helping Changkyun move his stuff to the dorms during the summer before the younger boy’s freshman year began.</p><p>He greeted them politely, holding the door open as they shuffled in with different-sized boxes carried in their arms. He helped with lugging Changkyun’s belongings back and forth from the truck and into their room, making things easier and faster for the three of them. Afterwards, they sat down on the floor, surrounded by Changkyun’s things still haphazardly thrown around, eating Chinese take-out from a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that Junhui had suggested. He had been there for a few days, he explained after taking a sip from his bottle of Coke, and had spent the better part of his stay getting himself oriented and familiar with his new surroundings.</p><p>Junhui was shy and he kept to himself most of the time, content to listen to Hyungwon and Changkyun talk. When prompted he will answer but in few, clipped phrases which Hyungwon learned was because he is from China and thus his Korean is still subpar.</p><p>To reassure him and make him a bit more comfortable, Hyungwon speaks to him in Chinese throughout the night. Changkyun didn’t know he spoke Chinese, to which Hyungwon rolled his eyes at, “I lived in China for a while, Kyun. I had to learn the language somehow.”</p><p>“I know, but Minhyuk hyung said the most you learned was how to buy chips and candies from the store.”</p><p>“He is a little shit and you know better than to believe the lies he spews from that evil mouth of his,” Hyungwon drawls with unamusement, translating to Junhui who was looking at them back and forth trying to keep up with the conversation. He nods when he finally understands and he even laughs, telling Hyungwon that he could relate a lot because his friend back in China does the same.</p><p>It was safe to say that Hyungwon and Junhui hit it off quite well, and it helped that he is the first one that the younger boy will seek out when he needs help in understanding some hard Korean phrases. Hyungwon grew rather fond of him and the expressions that play on his face—brows furrowed in confusion and then concentration, the sparkle of his eyes when he finally understands the gist of it, the wide beam that splits his face when Hyungwon and Changkyun agreed to go to his favorite hotpot place with him.</p><p>He was practically brimming with unconcealed excitement, the most that Hyungwon had seen in him (not that it meant a lot because he only knew Junhui for about a few weeks at most), that it was hard to turn him down. Besides, Hyunwoo and Minhyuk had been on his case because of his inability to eat actual food, so this is quite a reprieve from his usual intake of junk and processed food. The hot pot was really good, and Junhui is a pleasant company, and Hyungwon thinks that he would probably say yes without thinking twice about it when Junhui asks him for something or anything at all because it is worth it to see him being giddy and excited over the littlest things.</p><p>When he finally works up the courage to ask him out on a real date, without Changkyun and outside the confines of the library and the younger boys’ shared dorm room, Junhui says yes, lips curling up in a shy smile and cheeks flushed with a hint of cherry blossom pink.</p><p>They went to watch a movie that Junhui had been speaking of for a while, and they shared a popcorn, like it was all a cliché movie trope and Hyungwon was feeling delightful for it and the tiny squeaks that leaves Junhui’s mouth when their hands brushed ever so slightly. Mustering his courage, Hyungwon holds Junhui’s hand as soon as they step out of the cinema, and he waits for the other to pull out, quite pleased when Junhui doesn’t. Instead, he moves closer, their shoulders brushing as they walk, and intertwines their fingers.</p><p>(They were nearly of the same height but Hyungwon is taller by a centimeter or two, the difference more apparent now when Junhui stands pressed closely to him, bundled up in a knitted sweater a size too big on his form— it makes him look smaller, and Hyungwon is tempted to pull him close and smother his face with kisses, trace the moles on his face with his lips.)</p><p>They ate at a Chinese restaurant suggested by one of the friends Junhui made in school, a literature guy named Jeon Wonwoo, and Hyungwon made sure to ask for an extra helping of chilli for Junhui.</p><p>They made small talk while eating, which is actually more of Junhui speaking a mile per hour (he was shy about it the first time, but Hyungwon encouraged it, was more than happy to listen to him ramble on about things that he is interested at), talking about the portable hotdog grilled he saw online and then the hundred packs of mask he ordered by mistake, and Hyungwon just sat there across from him, responding accordingly while he plays with Junhui’s hands on top of the table and looks at him with unadulterated affection.</p><p>He walked Junhui to his dorm room after and before he left, he was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek that caught him off-guard but was entirely welcomed. Junhui bid him goodbye and hurried inside, while Hyungwon stood there for a while, smiling like a fool.</p><p>Apparently, his good spirits are way too obvious because when he steps in his own shared room with Hyunwoo and finds Minhyuk lounging on his bed, head thrown over the edge and looking at him upside down, the older sat up quick (Hyungwon was concerned at the rush of the blood in his body at the sudden movement) and asked Hyungwon, “I take it that the date went well?”</p><p>Hyungwon’s answering grin and the way he plopped down on his bed beside Minhyuk, letting out a dreamy sigh, was enough of an answer to his best friend’s question.</p><p>Dating Junhui is nice— and maybe nice is an understatement but Hyungwon settles for it temporarily because there might be no exact word to explain the way his insides wrestle each other at every kiss and at every smile thrown his way.</p><p>(“It’s love, Hyungwonnie,” Minhyuk tells him with a dramatic roll of his eyes. Hyungwon purses his lips in thought because maybe in a way it is, but it is not exactly <em>in love</em>, just yet because there is a difference, according to Minhyuk and Jooheon.)</p><p>The first kiss was simple yet memorable. It was Junhui who initiated it, after what had been their third date, and even though he was the one who closed the distance between his and Hyungwon’s lips, he was the one who got more shy between the two of them, flushing down until his neck. It was adorable, Junhui is downright effortlessly adorable in everything he does that Hyungwon eyes always swim with fondness whenever he looks at him. He pulls Junhui in after and kisses him again, a hand on the younger’s napes while his other holds Junhui’s hand, rubbing comforting circles on his knuckles.</p><p>(Hyungwon stayed over at Junhui’s dorm room that night because he can’t find it in himself to leave just yet. It was worth it, because Changkyun was not there and Hyungwon can press as many kisses as he wants— on Junhui’s forehead, cheeks, the side of his neck, the moles on his face, and finally a lingering one on his lips that left Junhui all flushed and giggly, eyes shining with what must be, dare he say it, the slightest hint of love.)</p><p>So, okay dating Wen Junhui is more than nice. It is amazing, splendid, and Hyungwon is always in a good mood more often than not (there <em>are </em>always the bad days, and the times he goes to class with a rain cloud hovering above his head because Jooheon and Minhyuk think that bursting in at his dorm room at 5am is such a humane thing to do), and there are the perks in the form of Wen Junhui cuddles and Wen Junhui cooking him food and Wen Junhui kissing him in the morning and in the evening before they have to part ways.</p><p>There is also the adorable way he tucks his arms inside his sweater when he gets too cold and Hyungwon always take that as a sign to pull him close and drape a thick comforter over both their figures while they watch Ghibli movies, letting Junhui snuggle next to him and tuck his head under Hyungwon’s chin. He had always been sensitive when the weather is cold and at times like this, he curls up on himself and it makes him seem smaller and it pulls at Hyungwon’s heartstrings, can’t help himself from showering Junhui with a multitude of kisses.</p><p>Of course there are the frustrations and the little arguments, because Hyungwon is sometimes too stubborn while Junhui refuses to speak his feelings out most of the time. After a night of going back and forth with the arguments and sitting down to talk about it calmly and logically, they mutually agreed to be more open and communicative with each other.</p><p>And it worked, Junhui hesitates less in telling Hyungwon what bothers him and Hyungwon becomes more sensitive about pushing Junhui to talk to him.</p><p>Their relationship was sailing smoothly, I love you’s were exchanged half a year since they started going out, and Hyungwon still remembers how it felt hearing it from Junhui’s lips, hearing it fall from his own mouth as well. It’s like a burst of warmth in his chest— like going back to a house and turning on the heater after walking out in the cold for hours, replacing winter coat with the warmest piece of clothing and wrapping oneself in blankets. It spreads throughout his body and he almost feels like he is floating if it weren’t for Junhui’s hands anchoring him to the ground by cupping his cheeks and looking at him with eyes that loudly says just how much he adored Hyungwon.</p><p>Their friends thought they’d last forever— they were <em>that </em>couple who people think would most likely get married after they graduated university and got themselves properly settled in the society. But as such, things don’t go as planned and not all the nice things always last.</p><p>A year into their relationship, Hyungwon and Junhui broke up.</p><p>It’s not because they had such a huge fight it was beyond salvageable. Hyungwon thinks they’re past the stage of petty fights and misunderstandings as they always make sure to fix whatever it is that comes in the way of their relationship.</p><p>This was more because Junhui has a responsibility and something entirely out of their control.</p><p>He comes to Junhui and Changkyun’s dorm one day and is immediately met with a distraught Junhui who told him, “I have to go back to China,” and then he was breaking down in tears and they had to sit down for a while until Junhui calmed down enough for them to have the conversation.</p><p>Junhui’s brother was sick and he won’t be leaving the hospital anytime soon. Mrs. Wen assured Junhui that they will be fine back at home, that all Junhui needed to worry about was his studies because they can hold the fort while he is in Seoul for two more years, but Junhui didn’t like that. He wanted to be there for his family, for his brother most especially. He could just continue his studies in Shenzhen, there is a university there that offers his program anyway, and he could work on the side to help with the finances. It was admirable, Hyungwon thinks, and he can’t blame Junhui for choosing to do that because he would surely do the same if it was his family.</p><p>It was a tough decision to break up because even though they can opt for a long distance relationship, Hyungwon doesn’t think he might be ready and he doesn’t want to put the pressure of a romantic relationship on Junhui when he already has a lot on his plate to worry about. Nonetheless, it was a mutual decision and they parted ways with no bad blood between them so it was all good and clean, and Junhui had apologized a few times in between while they cuddled for the last time as boyfriends.</p><p>“We’re still friends, right?” Junhui asks meekly, his voice so small and vulnerable, Hyungwon wished he could do more to protect him.</p><p>“Of course,” Hyungon reassures him with a soft squeeze on his waist. “You can call me anytime you want and we’ll talk. I’ll be here for you.”</p><p>He feels more than sees Junhui smile, and a kiss was placed on Hyungwon’s shoulder before Junhui whispered, “Thank you, gē.”</p><p>It was tough for a while after seeing Junhui leave— his bags on the trolley cart and the sad look in his eyes as he waved goodbye at Hyungwon and Wonwoo who dropped him off at the airport. He could feel the physical ache in his chest and he asked Wonwoo if he could drop him off at Haidilao, which was Junhui’s favorite Chinese restaurant. It was kind of lonely, eating alone especially when he got so used to eating there with Junhui’s chatter surrounding both of them. But he got used to it over time and Hyungwon often goes there to eat when he is feeling a little blue.</p><p>Sometimes, he takes a picture of his food and sends it to Junhui, and even though the younger’s reply isn’t instantaneous, Hyungwon still finds comfort in their exchanges. No trace of awkwardness or anything else. It was simply Hyungwon and Junhui, and it somehow lessens the loneliness he feels when he eats alone at Haidilao. He started treating it as more of an alone time than an act of his grief, and he finds immense pleasure in it, even seeks out new Chinese restaurants that he could try when he has the time.</p><p>It was what Junhui loved doing before and without him around physically to drag Hyungwon out, he does it for himself and in some sense, it kind of feels that he is with Junhui. It is a piece of Junhui he unconsciously tucked in him, letting it fit seamlessly in his life until it became a part of him as well.</p><p>And Hyungwon hopes that a part of him lives in Junhui, too.</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">You’re my Flower.</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>After the break up, Hyungwon had never dated anybody else. It’s not because he hasn’t moved on, he had, fairly well. It’s just that he resolved himself to focus more on his studies and his music, along with his little modelling career on the side. But that doesn’t mean he has a lack of sex life because he would argue otherwise, and he does have his fair share of one night stands. He is a young man with physical needs, after all.</p><p>Minhyuk and Hoseok dragged him out one night for drinks after two weeks of academic hell, and apparently, sleeping in isn’t much of a good reason for his friends to leave him alone in the quiet comfort of his room.</p><p>It was a party in one of the bigger houses outside the university district, owned by a guy named Jung Jaehyun whom Minhyuk knows from the theatre class he takes as a minor. When they arrived there, the place was already brimming with people and it didn’t take too long for him to lose Minhyuk and Hoseok in the crowd of drunk and rowdy college students. Instead of putting in the effort to find them and subject himself to the stifling heat and atmosphere inside the house, Hyungwon elected to just stay in the porch where it is cooler, more quiet and there are less people milling about. He groans when he takes a seat at one of the lounge chairs and was surprised when he hears an amused chuckle at the other chair which he didn’t notice was occupied at all.</p><p>“Not your scene?” the other person asks and Hyungwon grunts in response. “Not really. I was supposed to sleep in and hopefully not wake up until tomorrow afternoon but my friends think otherwise.”</p><p>He received a snort before the other sits up properly and Hyungwon was able to see him clearly, long strands of blonde hair reaching just above his jaw, cherubic features and a pair of thin, red rose-painted lips curled up on the side to give him an amused smirk, “I get that. Soonyoung just dragged me here. I would’ve been sleeping too if only I didn’t know how he gets when he’s drunk off his ass. Don’t want to find out the next day that he fell into a ditch or something.”</p><p>“You’re such a good friend. I hope Minhyuk and Hoseok trip and faceplant on the grassy lawn later,” he drawls, settling in the chair comfortably.</p><p>“That’s mean,” the man beside him laughs. “I’m Yoon Jeonghan, by the way.”</p><p>Hyungwon looks at him with his eyebrows furrowed in thought when he hears the familiar name, “By any chance are you the same Yoon Jeonghan who likes to lounge underneath a tree at the back of a high school building, because it is too hot to be playing soccer but does amazing in the sport anyway so he gets away from the scolding of the soccer coach?”</p><p>“That’s oddly specific, but yeah,” he answers warily. “Do I know you?”</p><p>“Chae Hyungwon,” he introduces himself. “I am not a stalker, but I knew you because we went to the same high school and I’m that lanky kid who sits next to you and takes the same physical ed classes because I failed mine. The name just stuck because I hear your friends calling you every now and then.”</p><p>Jeonghan purses his lips in thought and it takes a few moments before realization dawns on him—eyes widening slightly and his small mouth uttering a soft, “aha!” before he points at Hyungwon and says, “I remember you! You were the upperclassman Cheol kept on mentioning was so much like me. Glad to finally put a name to your pretty face.”</p><p>Hyungwon knows flirting when he sees and hears one and this is Jeonghan flirting with him, his head pillowed casually yet effortlessly adorable against his arm as he leaned on the arm of the lounge chair he is sitting on. He has an angelic smile playing on his lips and Hyungwon knows it is anything <em>but</em> innocent. He smirks and pivots in his chair so he too could face Jeonghan and he muses, “Oh? You think I’m pretty?”</p><p>“You think I am too,” Jeonghan shrugs nonchalantly, but there is an air of easy confidence in the way he says it. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t remember me from 3 years back.”</p><p>It makes sense, Hyungwon thinks so he doesn’t refute Jeonghan’s statement, which highly amuses the other.</p><p>The two of them remained at the porch for the rest of the night, thoughts of their friends left at the back of their minds as they went back and forth with the flirting.</p><p>At one point, Jeonghan plants himself on Hyungwon’s lap and the weight was welcome, even more when Jeonghan leans forward to kiss him languidly, tongue teasing at the seam of his lips before he grips Hyungwon’s pink strands in his long fingers, a moan leaving Hyungwon's mouth which Jeonghan greedily swallows in his own.</p><p>They ended up in Jeonghan’s place (after making sure their friends wouldn’t fall in a ditch because they were too drunk) which was conveniently in an apartment just near the university, offering them the privacy they needed that the college dorms couldn't offer.</p><p>It was a flurry of naughty hands and heated kisses, clothes impatiently torn off each other’s bodies and Hyungwon falls against the rumpled baby blue sheets of Jeonghan’s bed. A loud and shameless moan rolls off his tongue (“No need to keep it in, Hyungwon-ah,” Jeonghan whispers in his ear, tickling the skin and making goosebumps appear while his hands are busy fondling him through his pants, knee grinding against his erection in slow, languid circles. “It’s just us. Let it out.”) when Jeonghan takes him in his mouth and his hands automatically went at the back of Jeonghan’s head, fingers carding through the blond strands as he thrust his hips up shallowly.</p><p>When Jeonghan pulls off, the image of him blissed out and wrecked when they’re only halfway there, plants itself on Hyungwon’s mind, and he doesn’t know whether he wants to fuck him or get fucked by him. Maybe they can do both for the night, that is if they could last another round without dozing off after the first orgasm. For the moment, Hyungwon pulls Jeonghan in a fiery kiss and hands him the bottle of lube.</p><p>“On your knees,” Jeonghan commands and Hyungwon is quick to follow, feeling impatient as Jeonghan slowly works him open. He is a big tease, Hyungwon finds out, but any protest was cut off his tongue when Jeonghan hits his bundle of nerves and all Hyungwon could do was bury his face on the pillows and thrust his hips back to meet Jeonghan’s fingers. Satisfaction wells up inside him when Jeonghan finally enters in one go, when Jeonghan pulls at his hair (he loves it, Hyungwon thinks) and when Jeonghan lets out a groan when Hyungwon tightens around him, biting down on his shoulder in retaliation and it will surely leave a mark but Hyungwon doesn’t find it in himself to care.</p><p>They don’t last long enough for another round because the exhaustion of one whole week, both physical and mental, caught up to them that they just fell asleep after cleaning themselves up half-heartedly.</p><p>Afternoon the next day, they woke up to Jeonghan’s housemate, Hong Jisoo, knocking on the bedroom door and telling both of them it’s way past lunchtime and they should get up. Begrudgingly, they slipped off the bed with messy hairs and haphazardly worn clothes, and ate the food Jisoo had so kindly and thoughtfully prepared for them. Jeonghan sees him off after, with a new number in his contact list and a message that says, “Let’s have some fun again next time,” along with a wink emoji.</p><p>Hyungwon snorts and pockets his phone, knows what happened will be a one time thing because he isn’t that blind to see nor is he too dense to feel that there is something unnamed floating between Jisoo and Jeonghan that remains just so, because they refused to talk about it.</p><p>So the next time they see each other, three days after the party, in the university coffee shop with a stressed and exhausted Jeonghan, Hyungwon asks, “So, how’s it going with Jisoo?”</p><p>The blond whines and crosses his arms on top of the table, props his chin and pouts as he draws circles on the wood using the condensation from his iced coffee, “He is still ignoring me.”</p><p>“Have you found out the reason why?” Hyungwon takes a sip from his own iced coffee as he patiently waits for Jeonghan’s answer, the boy still sulky.</p><p>“He won’t tell me,” he says. “He had always been like that whenever I bring someone home. Although I think he might like you better than the ones before. Not that I care if he doesn’t really. They’re all assholes, anyway.”</p><p>Hyungwon feels a mixture of satisfaction, at the thought of Jisoo liking him, and an upcoming headache because Jeonghan is such a dumbass, he doesn’t know what is already hitting him square on the face and these are the exact thoughts he voices out to Jeonghan, who sits up looking affronted.</p><p>“I am <em>not </em>a dumbass.”</p><p>“You are,” he calmly replies. “I think Jisoo might also think the same.”</p><p>Jeonghan’s shoulders sag and he pouts, reaches for his drink to take a sip and nibble at the edge of the straw, “Whatever. Let’s just go somewhere else. This place is getting packed with people.”</p><p>Hyungwon didn’t need more convincing to follow Jeonghan out of the café, walking together with him until they left the university and went straight to the nearest mall, and Hyungwon finds himself standing in a toy store next to Jeonghan who is looking contemplatively at the rows and rows of Lego in front of them.</p><p>“What are we doing here?” He asks and it takes Jeonghan a while to answer, after he was done picking out a box with a Harry Potter design.</p><p>“Shopping,” he answers simply as he strodes over to the cashier with the medium-sized box in hand and an exasperated Hyungwon in tow.</p><p>“You have a rather expensive hobby,” Hyungwon comments when he sees the price of the item reflected in the screen, eyes widening in shock while Jeonghan merely pulls out a black card.</p><p>“It’s relaxing,” Jeonghan shrugs as they wait for his purchase to be finalized. Hyungwon doubts the legitimacy of his statement but well, they have different ways to cope with stress and this happens to be how Jeonghan does it. “Besides, this is Mingyu’s card, not mine.”</p><p>“How is Mingyu’s card even with you?” Hyungwon massages his forehead once again. He realized he had been doing it a lot for the whole day. Yoon Jeonghan is just a man full of surprises.</p><p>He didn’t provide an answer, save for a mischievous grin and Hyungwon knows not to ask further, just lets him lead the way for their next escapade for the day.</p><p>The thing with Jeonghan and Legos becomes a regular thing for both of them and more often than not, Hyungwon finds himself in Jeonghan and Jisoo’s apartment, sitting on the floor of the living room with both guys as they try to build the lego sets he bought. Jisoo and Hyungwon struggle a lot and they just leave Jeonghan to suffer alone as they proceed to the kitchen to get something to eat and then open the television to watch some movie on Netflix.</p><p>Still, Jeonghan manages to successfully finish after sitting for hours, and he makes a satisfied noise, looks up at Jisoo like a child to show him what he finished. And Jisoo, kind-hearted and gentle Jisoo, would look at Jeonghan with the softest smile and then he would lean over and look at it, ruffle his hair affectionately to which Jeonghan leans against the touch. All the while, Hyungwon would just sit there and watch them, and he wonders why Jeonghan doesn’t see the way Jisoo looks at him in a way that could only mean, “I’m fucking in love with you.”</p><p>He brings this up during one of his video calls with Junhui, when the younger had mentioned, “Dr. Hong,” and Hyungwon immediately asked if it was the same Dr. Hong as Jisoo’s mother because he vaguely reminded Jeonghan mentioning that Jisoo takes up medicine and his family specializes in the medical field.</p><p>Junhui nods, asks him how he knows Jisoo and Hyungwon answers, “By association. I met him when I—” he clears his throat, the next words coming out awkwardly as he explains, “slept over at their apartment.”</p><p>Junhui chuckles at Hyungwon’s attempt to cover up his fun night with Jeonghan, which led to the older groaning as he covered his face.</p><p>“Gē, no need to be weird with that. It’s perfectly fine. It’s not like I’m going to be angry at you for doing something normal.”</p><p>“But, aren’t you friends with Jeonghan?”</p><p>“In extension, yeah. I’m mostly friends with Jisoo and they’re kind of a buy-one-take-one package, so,” Junhui shrugs and Hyungwon nods in understanding. Jeonghan and Jisoo are hardly ever seen without the other.</p><p>“Isn’t there like, kind of a friendship code where you don’t fuck your ex’s friends or your friend’s ex?”</p><p>Junhui rolls his eyes at him this time. “Gē, please. It’s okay, really. And it’s not like either of you two knew. Wonwoo was the closest to a friend you have from the circle I made.”</p><p>Hyungwon relents. Then he proceeds on a tirade of Yoon Jeonghan and his penchant for buying Lego and how he was able to successfully rope Hyungwon into buying him one.</p><p>“As a birthday gift,” he says all puppy eyes and pouty lips and Hyungwon is weak for pretty boys which he has a growing fondness of, and when he relays this story to Junhui, the younger just laughs at him.</p><p>“You bought it for him nonetheless so I take it that he had been growing on you,” Junhui points out. Then his laughter dies down but the smile on his lips stays. “That’s the thing about Jeonghan though. He sticks to you like a leech and before you knew it, he’d have you wrapped around his finger.”</p><p>Hyungwon couldn’t help but agree.</p><p>(He also mentions Junhui to Jeonghan the next time they sat together to form another lego set and Jeonghan hums, points at the small Formula 1 lego sitting next to their television, “He gave that to me before he left for Shenzhen. A remembrance, he says.” There was fondness in Jeonghan’s eyes as he told this to Hyungwon and he knew that Junhui had also burrowed himself in Jeonghan’s life and left a piece of him there.)</p><p>When he graduates, Jeonghan attends the ceremony with Jisoo, and Hyungwon raises an eyebrow when he sees their intertwined fingers, lips splitting into a wide grin when both of them flushed slightly at the knowing glint in Hyungwon’s eyes.</p><p>He hands Hyungwon a gift bag, just the average size, and when he goes back to his dorm later, he finds a cherry blossom lego set. It comes with a note that makes Hyungwon tear up and smile at the same time.</p><p>
  <em>Congratulations, Wonnie! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Here is a Lego set I chose for you. Kind of nostalgic, isn’t it? :)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope I was able to have a place in your heart just as you have in mine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>All the love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jeonghan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. I didn’t use Mingyu’s card in purchasing this.</em>
</p><p>He keeps the note in his wallet and if Hyunwoo finds him on the floor surrounded by pieces of Lego when he comes back a little later, he doesn’t question it.</p><p>(“Where do you want to put your cherry blossom, Hyungwonnie?” Minhyuk asks as they started setting up the living room of their newly-bought three-bedroom apartment that they decided to share after graduation.</p><p>Hyungwon looks around, thoughtful eyes sweeping over the expanse of the room before he settled on the small, round table they had placed near the window.</p><p>“Over there. Maybe we could buy lego humans or flowers, or maybe a cat and a dog, to keep the cherry blossom company,” he turns to Minhyuk with a questioning look. “What do you think?”</p><p>“That’d be lovely,” Minhyuk walks over and places the cherry blossom on top of the table, letting out a pleased hum at how perfect it looked, with the sunlight from the window bathing it in its golden light. “Let’s go to the mall tomorrow. We need to buy plates, after all.”)</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">You are the one unique piece that can’t be replaced.</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>The idea of working out never crossed Hyungwon’s mind for the past 22 years that he had lived on this planet. He was content for a walk along the Han River, maybe a light jog or riding a bike. A few sports taken up here and there back when he was in high school, but never going to the gym to do sit-ups and push-ups and carry weights. His ideal day-off was to curl up in his bed and sleep, munch on snacks while he watches dramas and animes, maybe even read a novel or a manga. He isn’t like Changkyun or Hoseok or Kihyun or Hyunwoo who frequents the gym and he would do well without stepping in one, that is until Changkyun decides that he should and pulls him along despite the numerous protests he heard from Hyungwon’s lips but had successfully and expertly ignored. Hyungwon sulks but it didn’t last long because he had to focus on making sure his lanky limbs don’t fall off. Safe to say, after the first session, he was dead on his feet and he glared at Changkyun for putting him through hell but he was thankful. Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings are spent in the gym more often than not, and weekends are for his dramas and animes and sleeping in for the whole day. There is balance there somehow, and Hyungwon is more than satisfied with the way his routine changed and the efforts showed in the way his arms started filling out with muscles and his toned stomach became even more defined.</p><p>The fondness with Korean dramas stems from Hyunwoo, who watches it with Hyungwon in their shared college dorm room, books and notes foregone in favor of binge-watching Itaewon Class and everything else that would pop up first in their Netflix home page. At first, it was just so they could make the most out of Hyunwoo’s premium account, he pays for it after all, but it became more of a bonding between the two of them especially during the more stressful days when Hyungwon would just like to stop thinking about laws and public policies for a while and Hyunwoo unsurprisingly feels the same.</p><p>(They end up cramming their requirements most of the time, and there is a considerable lack of sleep which led to the consummation of more than 3 cups of coffee a day just to feel even the slightest bit alive, but Hyungwon, without a doubt, would do it all over again.)</p><p>Affection comes in silent gestures and unspoken words of assurance and affirmation for Hyungwon but Jooheon is loud with his and it bleeds into Hyungwon’s life, how he likes to call people with affectionate nicknames and hugs them, kisses them, calls them on a regular basis to make sure they know how loved and appreciated they are. Jooheon ingrains that thought in their minds, with gentle arms around body frames, soft presses of his lips on foreheads and cheeks, and enthusiastic voice filling up the receiver of their mobile phones. Jooheon calls him “honey” or “darling,” “sweetheart” or “babe,” and Hyungwon just learned to go with it as time goes by. One day, he finds himself calling Jooheon with the same affectionate nicknames in such a natural way as if he had been doing it for a long time, and the first time he did, Jooheon’s mouth fell open in disbelief before his lips formed a grin so wide, Hyungwon could almost feel his own cheeks hurt. Jooheon tackled him in a hug and he laughed, snuggled closer to Hyungwon as Hyunwoo started their Korean drama marathon that evening.</p><p>All of them are bits and pieces of what makes up Chae Hyungwon, and if this was some sort of chemical laboratory like that of Doctor X and the Powerpuff Girls, there will be various vials, test tubes and beakers laid on the table containing colorful liquids in different amounts. (At least that is how the visual goes in Hyungwon’s imagination, and he even goes as far as to indulge himself with the thought of Kihyun as maybe Bubbles or Buttercup.)</p><p>And if one were to look closer though, they’d see that one container stands out above the rest— a beaker filled with liquid the color of molten gold, almost full that it starts to spill. A small piece of paper is taped onto it, with the familiar name of his best friend hastily written in the familiar fashion of almost incomprehensible characters but Hyungwon knows it by heart, could read and write it with his eyes closed, “Lee Minhyuk.”</p><p>And it is just so fitting and so right for Minhyuk to make up the biggest part because he has taken a piece of himself and had placed it where Hyungwon had carved out a space for Minhyuk in his life.</p><p>Lee Minhyuk and his sunny disposition that overflows until it reaches Hyungwon in waves of warmth, and he bathes in it, takes joy in the smiles thrown his way and at the resounding laughter echoing against the walls of their little apartment. He takes solace in his arms, safe and impenetrable from where it envelopes him, like an iron wall made to protect Hyungwon from the ugliness of the world.</p><p>(Even though Minhyuk’s arms could only do so much, it is the comfort and security of his embrace that makes Hyungwon feel that everything is going to be okay and through it all, Minhyuk will be there beside him to hold his hand and gift him with that ever-beautiful smile  of his.</p><p>And that is enough.)</p><p>*****</p><p>The thing is, the thought of being boyfriends with Lee Minhyuk had never crossed Hyungwon’s mind.</p><p>It is not for the lack of attraction, no. Hyungwon had always liked to think that Minhyuk is beautiful in various ways— like in the way he dresses up in a loud and colorful way, intent on making a statement wherever he goes; in the way his eyes zeroes in on a blank canvas when he paints, so intently focused that Hyungwon can’t bring himself to disturb him because he looks at peace sitting on a stool with a paintbrush on one hand and a wooden mixing palette on the other, surrounded by bare walls and the drips of sunlight through the glass window of the spare room in their apartment he claimed as his studio; in the way he throws his head back when he laughs, in the way his cheeks flushes pink when he drinks way past his limit, in the way he just exists because Hyungwon thinks Minhyuk’s presence is a gift from the gods because nothing else could probably explain the way he overflows with gold wherever he goes.</p><p>But the thought of romance? Hyungwon had surely never considered that, even when their respective workmates had equally called them each other’s boyfriends for far too many times that Hyungwon stopped correcting them already.</p><p>(There was this one time, when he was leaving work and the woman in the reception called him over to say, “Your boyfriend is waiting for you,” with a giddy smile on her face. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and when he was about to tell her he isn’t dating anyone, Minhyuk’s voice echoed through the lobby, garnering attention with its loudness and with the fact that he has a bouquet of flowers in his hand, looking much too excited when he stands in front of Hyungwon and exclaims, “Congratulations on getting 100,000 sales for your first solo magazine cover!”</p><p>Hyungwon forgets the receptionist behind him as the entirety of his being was filled with warmth that he had already long-associated with Minhyuk. He takes the flowers, thanks him with a hug and then they walk out engaged in a lively conversation that was more of Minhyuk talking and Hyungwon listening.</p><p>The news reaches his manager, Wheein and he denies vehemently that no, Minhyuk isn’t his boyfriend and there wasn’t any romantic confessions with candles and heart-shaped petals littered on the ground, but Wheein just hums and proceeds to refer to Minhyuk as Hyungwon’s boyfriend anyway.)</p><p>It was only during the celebration of the opening of Jooheon and Changkyun’s new club that Hyungwon had seen Minhyuk in a new light and thus, providing him a new perspective of their whole relationship.</p><p>The party was small, just the close friends with some loud music and expensive liquor that Changkyun and Jooheon allowed themselves to splurge onto just for one night. Hyungwon was content to sit with Kihyun and Changkyun for the night while the rest of their friends decided to get wild and go crazy on the dance floor along with the other guests.</p><p>At one point, Kihyun leaves to go find Hoseok while Changkyun moves to the bar to make themselves a new batch of drinks after the last one was consumed, leaving Hyungwon to his own devices, face lit up by the screen of his phone as he scrolled idly through his Instagram newsfeed.</p><p>Minhyuk comes stumbling not too long after Kihyun and Changkyun left, drunk and giddy and sweaty as he plopped down beside Hyungwon with a huff.</p><p>“Are you having fun?” Hyungwon asks him as he sets his phone down on the tabletop and swipes Minhyuk’s bangs from where they were clinging to his skin because of the sweat. Minhyuk hums, nodding excitedly but stopping halfway with a wince when he realizes that the action makes his vision swim. They stay like that for a while, and Hyungwon would’ve thought that Minhyuk had already fallen asleep if it weren’t for the way he was playing with Hyungwon’s hand, trying to compare the sizes and slotting their fingers together.</p><p>Then he whines, making Hyungwon turn to him worried if he feels like throwing up or if he needs something but all Minhyuk says was, “Hyungwonnie, why are we not boyfriends? Am I not cute enough for you?”</p><p>And then Minhyuk straightens in his seat and faces him, lips curled up in that adorable pout and Hyungwon is both surprised and mesmerized, the mixture of both throwing him off-guard. As if what he said wasn’t enough, Minhyuk cups his cheeks with his large hands, then leans forward to press a featherlight kiss on the tip of Hyungwon’s nose that effectively makes heat crawl up his neck up to his face. He is positive that he is flushing like a Victorian maiden who had just received her first kiss.</p><p>“Ah, you’re blushing,” Minhyuk giggles and Hyungwon just blinks, not knowing how to respond. Not that Minhyuk actually minds, he thinks, because his best friend is busying himself playing with Hyungwon’s hand rather than trying to coax out a reply from him. “I think we’d be really cute together you know? I’d very much like to be your boyfriend. I mean, I’ve like to be for a while, but I don’t exactly know how to tell you that,” there is a frown evident on his voice as he drunkenly babbles everything that supposedly comes to mind and Hyungwon just sits there, listening and trying to deal with the situation in a calm manner.</p><p>It didn’t take long for Minhyuk to quiet down and fall asleep on Hyungwon’s shoulder and the younger takes that as a cue for both of them to go home.</p><p>As Minhyuk passes out and snores in the comfort of his bed, surrounded by his thick comforter and his fluffy pillows, Hyungwon lies awake on his own, staring at the ceiling and trying to make sense of what Minhyuk said.</p><p>When they both wake up the next day with pounding headaches (caused by two entirely different reasons), Hyungwon doesn’t know if he should be glad and relieved that Minhyuk doesn’t remember the events from last night, or be disappointed at the thought that it might mean nothing at all and Hyungwon was just the one putting things in an entirely different context.</p><p>Minhyuk was drunk so he was bound to say things that he won’t be saying when he is conscious about his words, and it doesn’t exactly signify that he means them because he probably doesn’t and the drunk mind works in a different way than when it is sober.</p><p>So he just locks it away and tries to forget that it was even said, lets Minhyuk lean against him on the couch as they share a mug of steaming hot black coffee to will away the hangover and be considerably more awake and alive.</p><p>He doesn’t understand though, why he feels more disappointed than relieved at Minhyuk’s lack of recollection from the events of last night.</p><p>*****</p><p>A week later, Minhyuk leaves for his business trip to Japan where he will be staying for five days, leaving Hyungwon alone in their house and giving him a chance to think about the events of the past days since Jooheon and Changkyun’s club party.</p><p>Not that there was a change in the way they act around each other. It was still the same—trying to cook without setting off the smoke alarm, playing games in the living room when they have the whole night and weekends free, Minhyuk dropping Hyungwon off at work and bringing him some take out when he is too booked to slip out so they could have their lunch together—except for the fact that Hyungwon’s chest squeezes at any form of physical contact he has with Minhyuk, be it a hug or when Minhyuk holds him by the wrist, or even by the slightest brush of their fingertips. Thankfully, he doesn’t flinch nor does he freeze at all because that would’ve been weird and he doesn’t want Minhyuk to think that Hyungwon finds it weird when they’ve naturally been clingy and affectionate with each other ever since they were kids.</p><p>Tired of all the thinking that he’s been doing lately, he calls Kihyun one night and feels genuinely relieved when the other answers him even if it was already 8 in the evening and he should be resting instead of being Hyungwon’s therapist.</p><p>“I have a question,” he cuts to the chase once Kihyun picks up the call, his fingers trying to play with the loose thread on the large hoodie that he has on (which might be Minhyuk’s but both of them don’t really care at this point when it comes to whose clothes they are wearing).</p><p>“Good evening Hyungwon, what is it?” Kihyun responds airily which makes Hyungwon roll his eyes but he doesn’t rise to the bait because there are much more serious matters he needs to pay attention to. The bickering and teasing could wait.</p><p>“So, uh, how do you like, um…”</p><p>“Take your time,” Kihyun tells him, his tone turning from sarcastic to something mellow and comforting which effectively soothes Hyungwon’s nerves enough for him to stop stammering and just outright ask his question.</p><p>“Before I say anything, please take note that this is purely hypothetical, alright?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Okay. So, how do you respond or react to your, uh, best friend, possibly hinting on wanting to become your, um, romantic partner?”</p><p>“...... Is this about you and Minhyuk?”</p><p>“Kihyun, I said this is purely hypothetical,” Hyungwon whines on the phone which doesn’t make it more convincing really, based on the snort he received from his friend.</p><p>“Yeah, okay whatever you say,” he drawls, making Hyungwon pout even though Kihyun isn’t there to see him like that. “But well, at first it scared me off. I think Hoseok has told you about this already, but I’ll tell you about it too, just to be more precise on how and what I felt because I think that’s where you will relate to the most.”</p><p>Despite the initial exchange of teasing between the two of them, Kihyun was actually helpful, and it makes Hyungwon better understand the emotions that had fully-taken over him after Minhyuk had drunkenly proclaimed that he had been wanting to be  Hyungwon’s boyfriend for a while now, and proceeded to drunkenly kiss him on the nose in a admittedly kind-of sweet gesture.</p><p>“I understand how it might be confusing for you right now,” Kihyun sympathized with him, for which Hyungwon is largely grateful. “I suggest you take the time to assess your feelings before he comes back, and if it still confuses you to a certain level, I think it will be good for both of you to sit down and talk about it.”</p><p>“I will, I’ll let you know how it goes.”</p><p>“No pressure, Hyungwon.”</p><p>“Yeah, and Kihyunnie?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Hyungwon can’t see it but he can hear the smile in Kihyun’s voice when he says, “I got you, always.”</p><p>*****</p><p>Hyungwon spends the next four days, trying to assess what and how he feels about the situation while the house remains Minhyuk-free, which means it is silent, unusually so, without the space being filled with the noises coming from the bathroom where Minhyuk hums a song while he showers, from the bedroom or the kitchen where Minhyuk stumbles over something or tries to cook food but ending up with preparing ramen for both of them. His voice had always filled up the entirety of their little apartment, bouncing off the walls while it runs miles per hour, never short on things to say even though they’ve been together for the majority of their lives.</p><p>Hyungwon misses it, terribly so.</p><p>And it has only been four days of being away from each other but waking up and going home to a Minhyuk-less household is starting to get to him already.</p><p>They’ve never been away from each other for too long, childhood vacations with their respective families an exception but even then, Minhyuk would come along because Hyungwon’s parents asked him to. There was also that one time when Hyungwon and his family lived in China for about three months because of his father’s work, to which Minhyuk cried when he found out and wouldn’t even think of letting go of Hyungwon’s hand when they were about to leave, if it weren’t for his mother gathering him up in her arms as he started to cry. They promised to call each other though, and when Hyungwon came back to Seoul, Minhyuk refused to let him out of his sight for about a week because, “I might wake up to you being gone again. I don’t want that,” he says with his eyes tearing up so Hyungwon promised him that he will never leave Minhyuk behind again.</p><p>(Minhyuk sniffles, looks up at Hyungwon with his large and innocent eyes, “Promise?”</p><p>Hyungwon answers with a smile, holds out his pinky finger for Minhyuk to link his with, “I promise.”)</p><p>During college, they didn’t share dorm rooms as Hyungwon roomed with Hyunwoo and Minhyuk with Jooheon, but still Minhyuk comes over often enough that Hyungwon sometimes forgets they aren’t even roommates.</p><p>So, yes this is the first time (after China, but back then Hyungwon doesn’t have the feelings he has for Minhyuk now, so it’s an entirely different case) that they are ever physically separated by a thousand miles and the emptiness nags at Hyungwon. He tries to ignore it by going to the gym to work out, watching k-dramas, playing online games while eating chinese take-out, building legos or even trying to learn how to cook (much to the surprise and fear of Kihyun, who asks him first and foremost if the house is still intact when Hyungwon called to ask how to cook stir-fried ginger pork).</p><p>It doesn’t work, and by the third Minhyuk-less evening, he goes over to Kihyun and Hoseok’s apartment, sitting on their couch and blankly staring at their spotless, cream-colored ceiling.</p><p>“This is obviously a nonsense question, but are you okay?” Hoseok asks after he and Kihyun whispered back and forth about something that Hyungwon failed to comprehend because he is too busy trying to come to terms with the aching feeling of longing drilling itself in his chest.</p><p>Hyungwon just shakes his head, doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling even as he hears Kihyun sigh and feels the mattress beside him dip down when the older sits on the empty space.</p><p>“Do you want to tell us what’s going on?” Kihyun asks gently, putting a hand on Hyungwon’s shoulder to steady and ground him.</p><p>Hyungwon sags into the couch, wanting to be absorbed by the furniture so he could just cease to exist for a few hours until he could deal with the foreignness of the emotions in his chest.</p><p>“I miss him, I guess,” Hyungwon shrugs. He feels Kihyun squeeze his shoulder softly, encouraging him to talk more if he wants to. And he does because his mouth filter doesn’t seem to work as of the moment, and the admission of missing Minhyuk makes his chest a little bit lighter.</p><p>“And it’s bad because,” Hyungwon’s forehead creases in thought as he struggles to describe how it feels, to miss Minhyuk and to long terribly for his presence. “Because it hurts and I don’t know how to deal with it. We aren’t even in the middle of the fight. I think this is worse than when we are fighting with each other.”</p><p>“Oh,” Kihyun responds. Then, “Wow, you sound like you’re waiting for a husband to come back to war instead of a best friend,” to which Hyungwon whines, sliding down sideways so he could pillow his head on the soft cushion.</p><p>“Have you talked to him?” Hoseok asks this time, sitting beside Kihyun. Hyungwon shakes his head, lips unconsciously forming a pout when he answers, “Not yet. After he texted me that he already landed and got settled in his hotel, we haven’t talked since. He showed me his schedule and it was packed so I understand.”</p><p>“It’s his last night tomorrow, right? And he will be on the plane back to Incheon the next day?” Hyungwon nods. Hoseok reached over to pat him on the knee, “He will call you by then. I’m sure of it.”</p><p>Hyungwon spares him a doubtful look, pulling the pillow below his head so he could hug it close to his chest, “How confident of you, hyung.”</p><p>Kihyun snorts and Hoseok just smiles, but they don’t move to leave Hyungwon alone on the couch, and he is thankful for the comfort that their company brings him.</p><p>“Of course I am,” Hoseok tells him proudly. “It is Minhyuk we’re talking about here and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way that you do.”</p><p>*****</p><p>True to Hoseok’s words, Minhyuk does call him the next evening.</p><p>(If Hyungwon stumbles from the kitchen to the living room, where his phone was, so he could answer Minhyuk’s phone call as soon as he heard his assigned ringtone break the almost-eerie silence of the house then no one was there to see it.)</p><p>“Hello?” Hyungwon says to the receiver, a bit too excited perhaps but he can’t find it in himself to care at that moment.</p><p>“Hi, Hyungwonnie. Were you busy when I called?” Hearing Minhyuk’s voice again after almost four days of silence is refreshing, like being able to drink a glass of ice-cold lemonade on a hot and winding summer day.</p><p>“Not really, I was just cooking ramen for dinner,” Hyungwon answers honestly, taking his phone with him as he returns to the kitchen to continue what he was doing.</p><p>“Careful not to burn anything. I don’t want to go back to Seoul houseless,” Minhyuk teases, mirth evident in his voice that it makes Hyungwon smile even though he rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Haha, funny,” he says sarcastically and the sound of Minhyuk’s laugh that filters through the phone is enough to ease the ache that had taken residence in Hyungwon’s chest ever since Minhyuk rode the plane going to Tokyo.</p><p>The two of them settled into a lengthy conversation, as if filling in and catching up with the missed time where they weren’t able to talk to and see each other. At one point, Minhyuk requests for a video call and Hyungwon was more than glad to acquiesce, since he really does miss Minhyuk and it feels like it had been so long since he last saw him when it was just a total of four days.</p><p>He looks tired, with the way his eyes are already closing every now and then behind the wired-frames of his eyeglasses. But he still talks in a hushed form of excitement and listens attentively when Hyungwon talks about his day. He even stands up from his already-comfortable position on his bed just to show Hyungwon the pack of snacks that he had bought specifically for him, and he always knew that Minhyuk is a thoughtful person through and through, but the effort to make sure he brought him something from his trip still warms Hyungwon’s heart.</p><p>When Minhyuk yawns and Hyungwon notices how he is struggling to keep his eyes open, he decides to let him rest.</p><p>“You should go to sleep,” he tells Minhyuk, who pouts childishly as he whines. “But we haven’t talked to each other for days!”</p><p>“You will be home tomorrow,” Hyungwon smiles at him while he adjusts his head on his pillow. “You’ll see me then and we could talk more about your trip.”</p><p>“Also about your work! Wheein had sent me pictures!” Minhyuk yawns again, “But I really kind of don’t want to end the call. I can’t even wait to see you already. The past four days were fun and all, but I kind of wished you were here.”</p><p>The confession makes Hyungwon’s breath catch in his chest and his response was a short, breathless, “Yeah?”</p><p>Minhyuk hums, nodding his head lazily as he blinks slowly, “Would it be too much if I said that I miss you terribly?”</p><p>“Not at all,” he assures him with a shake of his head. Then, in a much softer tone, “I miss you, too. Terribly.”</p><p>The ache dislodges itself from his chest at his admission, and it makes something start to flow freely throughout his whole person. Something that had been brewing for the past few years, locked away until that very moment when Hyungwon finally acknowledges its existence.</p><p>Minhyuk smiles at him from the other side of the screen and Hyungwon’s fingers twitch with the desire to reach over and pull him closer. Instead, he bids Minhyuk good night and wishes him a safe flight, promises to be there in the airport to pick him up.</p><p>And he makes true on that promise, already standing by the gates when the intercom announced the arrival of Minhyuk's flight.</p><p>When he appears in his line of vision, dressed in a white button up shirt topped with a knitted sleeveless sweater that is a size bigger than his frame, Hyungwon wasn’t able to stop the delighted grin that shows on his face, nor was he able to stop himself from pulling Minhyuk close by the arm so he could finally, <em>finally</em>, hug him.</p><p>He feels Minhyuk’s arm circle around his waist without so much as a trace of hesitation, and the way his voice sounds all fond and affectionate and dare Hyungwon say it, loving, makes the sunshine-warmth burst tenfold in Hyungwon’s chest, flowing to his limbs and fingers and every part of his body that it could reach until it fills him up to the point that he feels like he could explode.</p><p>“I missed you,” Minhyuk whispers, tightening his hold on Hyungwon.</p><p>“I missed you too,” Hyungwon says as he pulls back from the hug, but he doesn’t step away from their close contact. “Welcome back.”</p><p>“It’s good to be back.”</p><p>*****</p><p>The days that followed after Minhyuk’s return from Tokyo are, in the exact words of Kihyun, “spent as if you two are a newly-wed couple coming back from their honeymoon.”</p><p>(When he tells Hyungwon this over a cup of coffee while Minhyuk and Hoseok are out to do whatever it is that they do on their time together, Hyungwon chokes on his iced coffee, much to the amusement of Kihyun, who just sits in front of him, calmly eating his slice of matcha cheesecake.</p><p>“It’s not like that,” Hyungwon denies, but it sounds weak on his tongue, giving Kihyun the leverage that his statement holds stronger than Hyungwon’s does.</p><p>“Oh, but it is,” he says radiating with so much smugness that Hyungwon doesn’t humor him with a response other than a roll of his eyes.)</p><p>They were rarely seen without each other ever since, but even more so now and all of their friends noticed the shift in their relationship from being mere best friends to something more but they were just being polite by not saying anything, with the exception of Yoo Kihyun who ran his mouth the moment he got ahold of Hyungwon alone without Minhyuk hovering behind.</p><p>Wheein was even more delighted at the change.</p><p>They were driving back to the main office after Hyungwon’s shoot for the day when suddenly, he asked her if they could pass by Minhyuk’s favorite restaurant so he could buy him some lunch. Wheein agrees without so much as a protest, even convinces Hyungwon to go buy Minhyuk some flowers to make the gesture sweeter and grander.</p><p>Hyungwon relents, if only because he could imagine the elation on Minhyuk’s face when he shows up with lunch and flowers, and it makes everything worth it.</p><p>He almost didn’t want to leave, especially when Minhyuk hugged him after he gently placed the paper bag containing his lunch and the bouquet of daisies on top of his table. But he has to because Minhyuk has tons of reports to do for the day and Hyungwon has one more shoot to do before work ends for him.</p><p>Minhyuk does walk with him down to the lobby though, if only they could be together for a few more minutes and bids him goodbye with a promise, “See you later at home.”</p><p>(“I didn’t think it was possible that there was something— or someone for this matter— that could make you smile more than sleep and snacks,” Wheein teases him as she maneuvers the car back to the road.</p><p>Hyungwon just rolls his eyes, but the smile isn’t gone on his lips. It stays, because such is the effect of Minhyuk on him and it only multiplied the moment Hyungwon starts to slowly accept his feelings.</p><p>“Shut up and just drive,” he answers instead to which Wheein just laughs.</p><p>“Happiness looks good on you, Hyungwon. I’m glad.”)</p><p>*****</p><p>Changkyun tells him, “You know, it will only be a matter of time before you two have to sit down and really talk about what’s going on between the two of you.”</p><p>He carefully sets down one glass and picks up another that he starts to wipe with expert yet careful hand movements, eyes trained on Hyungwon as he waits for his response.</p><p>The older of the two just sighs, “I know.”</p><p>Sensing Hyungwon’s slight distress, Changkyun puts the glass and the wiping cloth down before he rounds the counter and sits on the empty bar stool beside Hyungwon, placing a comforting arm around the older’s shoulder.</p><p>“Hyung,” he calls softly, “It might be nerve-wracking to do so, but this will be the better course of action for both of you. If you two stick to the grey areas between friendship and romance, who knows what’s going to happen when, say, someone tries to come in and sweep Minhyuk-hyung off his feet?”</p><p>With that seed planted in his mind, he turns to Changkyun with what must be an expression of horror because the younger was quick to placate him, “Not that I’m saying Minhyuk-hyung will pack his bags and leave you for that hypothetical person, but you two need to establish where you stand with each other.”</p><p>Hyungwon nods in understanding because if there is something he fears most in this world other than losing his sleep and his supply of snacks, it is permanently losing Lee Minhyuk.</p><p>*****</p><p>Changkyun’s advice, no matter how simple and short it was, made Hyungwon rethink and reassess some things about himself and his relationship with Minhyuk.</p><p>It was a given that they are best friends since childhood and their bond was stronger than any other they shared with their friends, and even though Hyungwon knows he trusts Minhyuk with his life and the same goes for the other, he can’t help the fear that nags at the back of his mind when he thinks that the prospect of romance might become their downfall.</p><p>He talks about this with Junhui and Jeonghan, along with his other concerns because if there is anybody else that knows him better than Minhyuk and Kihyun, then it is the two of them.</p><p>“Are you blind?” Jeonghan asks him in a deadpanned voice after Hyungwon went on a tirade about how he could possibly scare Minhyuk off if he ever talked about having romantic feelings for his best friend. Hyungwon has the gall to act offended at the question, even more so when all Junhui offered was a hum and shrug because, “I mean, I would’ve asked in a nicer way but the thought remains the same.”</p><p>Hyungwon just pouts at his two friends ganging up on him. He hears Junhui sigh, “I’m saying this with confidence and also, as someone who has an outward perspective on what your relationship looks like. Based on your recount of the story ever since Jooheon’s party and Minhyuk-hyung’s trip to Tokyo and the days after, he is pretty much whipped for you as you are for him.”</p><p>“I’m not whipped,” Hyungwon mutters sulkily but he shuts up when he sees the unamused expression on Junhui’s face that only tells him he is not believing his bullshit.</p><p>“Hyungwon, there is no way Minhyuk-hyung is lying to you about what he feels, unless you know he is a con man and he is just playing with you. But from what I’ve known of him, the last thing he will ever do is hurt you,” Jeonghan adds.</p><p>There was a dull noise from Junhui’s side of the video call, and then he excuses himself for a bit before he returns, this time with his new boyfriend in tow.</p><p>Xu Minghao is a sweet boy to whom Hyungwon warmed up easily when they met, back when Junhui flew back to Seoul for a visit two years after he graduated and his brother had been released from the hospital, free of the sickness that had plagued him.</p><p>Hyungwon was delighted to see him and it seems Minghao is too, based on the beaming smile on his face that seemed to erase the exhaustion lining his eyes.</p><p>(Or maybe it was just the presence of Junhui beside him, safe and secure and comforting, something that for Minghao, is more like a home than the little apartment itself where they live together.)</p><p>Minghao adds on to the support that Junhui and Jeonghan had been giving Hyungwon prior to his arrival, tells Hyungwon without faltering that, “Hyung, remember when Junhui introduced us? Minhyuk-hyung was there and at first I thought you were together, like romantically. And I didn’t believe you both when you said you were just best friends because it just doesn’t match up you know?”</p><p>“Minhyuk-hyung looks at you with eyes that hold all the stars in the universe, as if the gods had decided to rob the night sky of the stars so they could put them in his eyes and make it sparkle brightly when he looks at you with undulating love and adoration.”</p><p>Hyungwon was hit with nostalgia when he heard those poetic words fall from Minghao’s mouth and he was thrown back into that one night when Hoseok told him about his story with Kihyun, remembers those words to be the exact same that Hoseok used to describe how Kihyun looked at him the night he finally said yes and gave them both a chance into something they really want.</p><p>Having someone tell him that Minhyuk looks at him the same way, Hyungwon feels like he might really burst for real. Like a star with so much gas that it threatens to explode at any minute, his feelings that had been buried and unacknowledged all these years slowly spill out in the open until it fills him to the brim and more.</p><p>“You know what to do, Hyungwon,” Jeonghan says with an encouraging smile, coupled with a nod from Junhui and Minghao.</p><p>With a steely resolve, he answers, “I do.”</p><p>*****</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">내 곁에만 있어줘, 내 옆에 늘 있어줘.</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em> <span class="u">(Please stay only by my side, please be by my side all the time.)</span> </em> </strong>
</p><p>Minhyuk hasn’t fully stepped inside their apartment yet when Hyungwon announces, “Let’s go for a drive.”</p><p>The older male just blinks at him but he shrugs in favor of questioning Hyungwon, puts his suitcase down by the wall and follows Hyungwon out of the door and into his car.</p><p>They drove in silence for a bit, while Hyungwon tried to string words together in his head on how he would want to start this conversation between them. If one takes a closer look into his mind, it would probably reflect an image of stormy sea, waves plunging almost-violently against large boulders rising up from the seafloor. On the outside, he looks calm, steals a few glances at Minhyuk who is just relaxing on the passenger seat, tapping his finger along with the beat softly playing from the speakers.</p><p>Hyungwon stops the car in front of a park, turns off the engine but doesn’t move to exit the vehicle. They sat in bathed breaths, waiting for one to talk, and Hyungwon thinks, <em>fuck it might as well go straight to the point than to drag this on with meaningless talk</em>.</p><p>“Do you remember Changkyun and Jooheon’s party? When they celebrated the opening of their bar,” Hyungwon starts off carefully, looks at his side and doesn’t miss the way Minhyuk freezes in his seat.</p><p>“Yeah, I do,” Minhyuk croaks out.</p><p>“You were drunk, so I assumed the next day that you didn’t remember what happened the night before. But I’m taking a guess that you actually did, am I right?”</p><p>Minhyuk only nods.</p><p>“Did you mean it?”</p><p>This time, Minhyuk turns to look at him, an unreadable expression on his face that is shrouded by the darkness of the night, “Why are you asking me this, Hyungwon?”</p><p>There is a defensive tone to his voice, all traces of playfulness gone and Hyungwon was hit with the seriousness of the situation they were in. He faces Minhyuk too, head on, and replies with as much conviction as he could yet tries to remain gentle with his words so as not to scare Minhyuk off.</p><p>“Because I was kinda hoping that maybe you do, mean it.”</p><p>Minhyuk’s defense melts away, his face morphing into one of confusion as for the first time ever in his life, he was rendered speechless by Hyungwon, out of all people.</p><p>“Wha- what?”</p><p>“You know, the thought of being your boyfriend didn’t ever cross my mind,” he says as he leans back on the driver’s seat, but still sitting in a way where he could clearly see Minhyuk’s face and he lets out a chuckle when his best friend scoffs.</p><p>“It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, I do. You’re insanely handsome and inhumanely beautiful.”</p><p>From the little brightness offered by the streetlights outside, Hyungwon could make out a hint of pink rising on Minhyuk’s pale skin, and it gives him so much satisfaction that he has that kind of effect with his words of compliment.</p><p>“I think it’s more like, everything with you feels natural that I wouldn’t even question it—holding hands while walking through the snowy white pavements on winter, cuddling up to you whenever I want and sharing one bed far more than usual that your bedroom could very well be a guest room at this point, living in domestic couply bliss with you. At one point, I even thought that I wouldn’t mind not dating anyone anymore as long as I have you by my side.”</p><p>Hyungwon takes a deep breath before he says the next words, “It was only lately that I realized I wouldn’t mind not dating anyone if it’s not you because I’d rather have you for the rest of my life than anybody else that isn’t you.”</p><p>Minhyuk doesn’t respond, and Hyungwon remains patient as he lets Minhyuk take in all the things he said because it could have been too much to be processed immediately by his confusion-addled brain. But then, tears started to escape Minhyuk’s eyes, creating wet lines down his cheeks, and Hyungwon finally reaches out to hold his hand and wipe them away with his other.</p><p>“When?” Minhyuk chokes out.</p><p>“When you left for Tokyo,” Hyungwon answers, knowing what Minhyuk is referring to. “The house had never felt so empty until you left, even if it were just a few days. I almost booked a flight the next evening just so I could see you.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you?”</p><p>“I needed to make sure that what I feel is true and not just a spur of the moment thing.”</p><p>“And?” Minhyuk sniffs. “What conclusion did you come up with?”</p><p>“I think,” Hyungwon wipes the other side of Minhyuk’s face and then proceeds to cup his cheeks with utmost tenderness. “I could probably live without you in my life, but I’m choosing not to.”</p><p>“God, you’ve been hanging out with Hoseok too much lately,” Minhyuk giggles, the sound wet with the remains of his teary episode earlier but Hyungwon still loves it, like a breath of summer in the middle of winter.</p><p>He leans forward and Minhyuk meets him halfway, presses their forehead together as they just exist with one another, in the small bubble inside their car where the rest of the world feels like light years away and every sound is dull in comparison to the way their hearts beat in sync with each other.</p><p>Hyungwon cards his fingers through the strands of Minhyuk’s ash brown hair, still soft to touch even after the years of bleaching and wild coloring it had gone through. Then he asks, “May I kiss you?” and Minhyuk just laughs, crosses the miniscule gap between their lips so he could finally, finally, kiss him.</p><p>And it felt natural too, the way their lips moved together in an unhurried manner, the way they fell into one another like it was meant to be in the beginning, their story woven in a tapestry and written in the scrolls by the hands of Fate and Time and Destiny.</p><p>It felt as natural as leaning against each other whenever they sing a duet during karaoke nights with their friends; like Minhyuk draping his weight over Hyungwon’s back whenever he goes home to find him preparing dinner in the kitchen (mostly take out of course) and whines for Hyungwon to feed him a piece of whatever food it is they have; like crawling into bed together and snuggling under the covers after a long day at work; like giving each other hugs before they have to leave for their own respective works. Like coming home to each other.</p><p>When they parted from the kiss, Hyungwon doesn’t think twice about declaring the entirety of his feelings for Minhyuk, and there is so much really, a tornado swirling in his chest that dies down and instead becomes a calm, undisturbed  ocean after he had made peace with them.</p><p>(Sometimes he wonders how three words could encompass a multitude of emotions but thinks that there is nothing more perfect to convey his endless affection and gratitude, even adoration and the desire to want him by his side for as long as he could.)</p><p>“I love you, Min,” he says, feeling a weight leaving his chest at the confession.</p><p>Minhyuk giggles, the adorable one that Hyungwon had always loved to hear because it reminds him of a sunflower field and he is the sunflower who always seeks out the sun that is Lee Minhyuk.</p><p>“I love you too, Hyungwon-ah,” he responds, with such a heartfelt tone that it makes Hyungwon’s heart jump with unbridled joy and giddiness.</p><p>He kisses Minhyuk again, and again, and again just because he could now, and revels in the feeling of being outwardly showered with Minhyuk’s love and affection in a much more intimate manner.</p><p>(Later, when they are finally home and snuggled closely under the covers of Hyungwon’s bed which is now their bed, Hyungwon finds himself staring at Minhyuk’s face, tracing every feature, every line and every angle, trying to commit it to memory so even when his eyes are closed, he could accurately picture it out and maybe even draw.</p><p>Minhyuk was also looking at him, and when their gazes met, Hyungwon felt himself get pulled into his star-studded orbs, and he finally understood what they were saying when the gods robbed the night sky of the stars. Because there were galaxies in Minhyuk’s eyes and they shine brightly all while he looks at Hyungwon, and he thinks that there couldn’t be something more accurate to describe the love they both have for one another.</p><p><strong><em>Limitless</em></strong>.)</p>
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